


Creeping In My Sou

by Sinsrose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canonical Character Death, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Psychological Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 08:42:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/733737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinsrose/pseuds/Sinsrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I fade away into the night.My eyes are closing in.Shadows fleeing from the light.My nightmares can begin.Wake me can't you hear me calling.Out of darkness they come crawling."</p><p>It was as if a knife had been twisted deep into his heart, until the pain riveted itself into Sam’s soul. The pain that never went away, that drove him into insanity. The devil touches his finger’s across Sam’s flesh, admiring the way it bruises and goes red against his grip. “Sam.” It’s a toying whisper, a mental game, he sounds like the archangel, the one Sam loved so deeply...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Creeping In My Sou

**Author's Note:**

> Set After Hammer Of The Gods (Gabriel's Death).

It felt cold. Not in a physical sense, well it was. It was snowing out, the coldness of winter settling into his frame. Brunette locks hung over eyes, obscured by the chocolate eyes, eyes numb looking, in pain. His fingers curled around the lighter looking upwards towards the sky as he flicked it to life. The heat radiating off of it, giving an irony of light, after it had been lost for so long.

The hunter’s eyes lacked that said light. He missed him. It would be a lie, if he said he had been unaffected by the archangel’s death those years ago. There was a gaping hole were his heart was, it wasn’t even his heart really anymore.

No, it was a twisted entity. One that wasn’t even the hunter at this point, it was something far older. He hunter himself, was locked in his mind, only brief bare moments, did he have like this to escape it. Sam hardly ever was awake to see anything. Dean- Dean couldn’t save him, he was surviving with Cas, without him. Sam had utterly failed, and there were no pieces to pick up to try to save him. It was like dust in the wind.

There was nothing left to build off of. Not after Gabriel died. Sam was dead, literally in every sense to the world. He had given up, his reason for living was gone. He had seen Gabriel’s corpse, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t even speak after he saw it.

It was as if a knife had been twisted deep into his heart, until the pain riveted itself into Sam’s soul. The pain that never went away, that drove him into insanity. The devil touches his finger’s across Sam’s flesh, admiring the way it bruises and goes red against his grip. “Sam.” It’s a toying whisper, a mental game, he sounds like the archangel, the one Sam loved so  _deeply_.

Sam doesn’t even know what is a dream and what is real anymore. Lucifer has been using him that long as a vessel, switching back and forth making chaos, Sam doesn’t even know when one day ends or the other begins. “Sam, don’t be like that, it’s just me.” The familiar whisper, the faked whisper of Gabriel falls into his ear, as if trying to sooth him from this numb, broken corpse he’s become.

Lucifer shifts his appearance for a brief moment, familiar fingers, Gabriell’s fingers brushing across Sam’s skin. His touch almost seems gentle, he plays Sam’s game, just to make him happy, bring a little of the old fire out sometimes. Sometimes it works, other times, he remains depressed, and screams and cries out, begging for Lucifer to stop messing with his head.

Lucifer loves those days. “Sammy, come on, don’t be like that.” He whispers again like Gabriel, and he can feel Sam flinch.

“ _Don’t_.” Sam whispers, almost pleading, he doesn’t want to remember Gabriel.

He misses him so much, he loved him so much.

He wants the pain to end.

“I love you,” Lucifer breathes out in Gabriel’s voice.

Sam screams, his knees giving out under him, hot tears trickling down his face. His body curling up on itself.

_ If only I could have saved you. _


End file.
